


Like Acid

by SiriusGetsKinky



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry Harry Potter, Blow Jobs, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, M/M, Masturbation, Rough Sex, Sort of Angry Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 06:30:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19865053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiriusGetsKinky/pseuds/SiriusGetsKinky
Summary: "It’s… weird. Something crawls up my body. Like a strange sensation that kind of takes over. Like I’m going to explode and scream at anyone who comes my way. But when I do scream, it doesn’t get better. It just feels like acid pouring down my throat."In which Harry finds an outlet for his anger.





	Like Acid

**Author's Note:**

> I mean, who doesn't love an Angry Harry?  
> Written so it follows canon on Order of the Phoenix up until a certain point.

This year’s return to Hogwarts had been a lot harder for Harry, almost bittersweet. He usually always felt so thrilled to come back to everyone he knew and liked, and it meant he finally got to see his friends after a long, boring summer. This year, though, it was different.

It started out with the nightmares. They often woke him up and for the rest of the day he would be distraught, a dark cloud over his head all the time threatening to start a storm. Sometimes it did. He would start to seethe internally, trying his hardest not to snap – the Dursley’s taught him well. The anger got so bad at times that he couldn’t keep it in. A bad joke thrown at him, a scowl from someone else, and he would just snarl something rude and walk away fuming.

It didn’t help that everyone tried to keep important things from him, even to the point of ignoring him. It was like fighting on his own with no one to help him. Even Ron and Hermione seemed to not fully understand the fight with his own mind every day.

After the dreams he could never fall asleep, instead spending hours rolling around in bed awake.

So he had started going for walks in the castle, finding it quite soothing when the halls were empty and silent. By now he was familiar with Mrs. Norris’ route and managed to always avoid it. He’d been wandering for some time when he stumbled upon a familiar classroom, one that hadn’t been used in quite a while. Inside he saw something he didn’t even know was in the castle anymore. The Mirror of Erised. He recognised its frame in a second and remembered fondly of the times he spent in front of it wishing for the reflection to come true. He’s older now, he doesn’t have such hopes anymore. He approached the mirror, unsure of what it could show him. He wondered if it had changed.

Harry inspected his face in the mirror. He looked different, he was smiling almost… triumphantly. By his left side he saw Voldemort in his full form, the one he saw him become at the graveyard. His pale face looked horrified as he slowly started to disintegrate into ashes, which gently floated away. He was dead, Harry had killed him. The man who murdered his parents.

Moments passed and suddenly Harry spotted a man far behind him, walking leisurely towards him. He recognised that walk before he even saw his face. He came behind Harry’s back, putting one hand on his shoulder and another hand on his cheek, stroking it. It was Sirius. He felt a warm smile creep on his face – his real face. It made so much sense, Harry wanted nothing more than to live with his godfather. But something changed in his face – the face in the mirror. Harry’s lips parted and a sigh seemed to escape them. He saw Sirius’ hand travel from his shoulder down to his back and stop at his waist, possessively grabbing it. He leaned into him, _really_ leaned, their bodies pressed so tight he could almost feel it. The hand Sirius had on his cheek slid to his parted lips and he sucked two of his fingers ever so lightly, eyes narrowed in arousal. Mirror Harry turned around to face Sirius and their faces came closer and closer, until they –

Harry’s body – his real body – turned away from the mirror forcibly. He couldn’t watch. The mirror couldn’t be right, that couldn’t be what he truly desired. It couldn’t. He loved Sirius with all his heart, he did, but… He couldn’t want him like that.

He walked away from the classroom leaving the mirror behind and started his path back to the dormitories, a heavy feeling in his chest.

***

The days went by in a haze. Harry tried to be present but he had too much on his mind. The nightmares kept waking him up at night and he’d been fighting the urge to go for a walk like he did before. His mind kept telling him to take that walk, but Harry knew where it wanted him to go. It wanted him to go back to that abandoned classroom, to look at the dusty mirror. To see again, to make sure. The images he kept seeing in his dreams often made him feel insane, and now that he’d seen the Mirror of Erised, he had no doubt he was indeed going insane.

His feet ended up dragging him to the deserted classroom, against his better judgement. Reluctantly, he stood in front of the mirror once again. Sweat started to form on his forehead in anticipation of what it could show him.

Harry saw the same man coming towards him and press up behind him as close as before. His grey eyes seemed darker, more intense than ever. He felt a slender hand crawl up, grabbing his throat. He parted his lips in pleasure as Sirius put more pressure on it. He could see his fingers digging into his skin, choking him softly. Still behind him, Sirius’ face came close to Harry’s and, without taking his eyes off him, he slowly licked behind Harry’s ear. He heard a low moan in the room, and he knew the sound couldn’t have come from the mirror.

He closed his eyes and walked away from it, sitting in a far corner of the room, knees drawn to his chest. He couldn’t want this to be real. Could he? The man who had sworn to his parents to protect him, a much older man, was the one he desired.

Fire started spreading in his chest, and as much as he’d like to deny all that he saw in the mirror, he knew he couldn’t. Realization dawned on him. He wanted this man. He wanted Sirius.

***

As the weeks went by Harry felt himself growing more obsessed with thoughts of his godfather. Classes seemed to last longer and he found himself drawn to the images the mirror had showed him. He tried to concentrate in class but he simply couldn’t. Hermione picked up on his distraction. Hell, even Ron had noticed. Harry just told them it was because of the nightmares, which wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t the full truth either. If they tried to press the issue, something strange and twitchy would crawl up his body and he’d hear a sort of murmur. That strange anger would bubble up inside him and he would snap once again.

He tried to tell himself that it didn’t matter, that he would end up forgetting about it, that it was just another item to add to the list of things he wished happened in his life but never will. That list was slowly becoming longer. Harry was used to disappointment by now, and he figured this would pass as a breeze compared to other events in his life.

***

Harry arrived at Grimmauld Place for Christmas. He didn’t feel like celebrating, but he also didn’t want to be rude and spoil everything with his moods. The Order was having yet another meeting, and Harry was shunned from it. He only managed to catch a glimpse of Sirius when someone opened the door to let Mr. Weasley in. It was just for a brief moment, but their eyes locked and Harry was sure his heart skipped a beat. He barely had time to properly have a look at his godfather, managing only a silly smile, before the door was being closed again.

About an hour later, there was a knock on the door of the bedroom Harry was sharing with Ron.

“Come in,” Harry said nonchalantly, folding a sweater and storing it in a drawer.

Sirius cracked open the door and slid inside, looking his godson from head to toe with a grin. Realizing who it was, Harry launched himself into a heartfelt hug. Sirius felt warm around him, and Harry liked the way he rubbed his hands along his back in a slow motion.

After some time they broke the embrace, and Sirius stared at Harry, studying him.

“Are you alright? You seem distressed… Tell me about those nightmares, I want to hear it from you in person,” he asked in a soft voice.

Harry told him about the nightmares, glad to have someone to just listen and understand how unsettling it was, but he knew the nightmares weren’t the only thing making him uneasy.

They sat together on the couch on the drawing room, talking for a bit, until Professor Lupin joined them. The talk got lighter as they reminisced over old times, and Harry relished at the sight of Sirius’ bright grin, the perfect little curve of his mouth as he made a snide comment. His youth seemed to come back to him when he smiled like that, leaving Harry breathless. He was quiet, just listening to him talk, taking in every inch of his face, his hands, his laughter.

After everyone had gone to bed, Harry was still buying time with Sirius. It always felt like it wasn’t enough, but at least he felt relaxed around him.

Harry sat on the couch by the fireplace and Sirius sat on the same couch, opposite from him. Harry had his homework on his lap, attempting to finish it, but he kept distracting himself.

Sirius was leaning against the side of the couch in silence, thinking about something. His eyes were fixed on some spot on the wall, his expression serious. Harry watched him discreetly behind his book and feather. His godfather was breathing slowly, and Harry could see the rise and fall of his chest covered in a buttoned up shirt. He leaned his head back against the couch lightly and touched his lips with slender tattooed fingers, closing his eyes.

Harry’s chest tightened again at the sight of that beautiful man, and he found himself wishing he could just drop to his knees and unbutton his shirt, kiss his neck, his chest and his stomach, unbutton his trousers…

Sighing, Harry slid and turned around on the couch so that his head was resting just above Sirius’ knee. He nuzzled his leg slightly, not able to hold back that bit of contact. Sirius had opened his eyes and was looking at his godson, still lightly pressing two fingers to his lips.

“What were you thinking about just now?” Harry asked, giving him a quizzical look.

Sirius just smirked at the boy and closed his eyes again, caressing Harry’s unruly hair gently.

***

That night, Harry woke up with yet another nightmare. Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand and setting his eyeglasses on his face, he got up from his bed. He tiptoed to the bathroom, splashed some water on his face and glared at the reflection in the mirror. So much was out of control. Harry never really had a happy childhood, but it had its moments. Now everything seemed to be unravelling, every day he felt less like himself and more like… someone else. Someone he couldn’t control, whose mind was rapidly becoming unhinged.

The angry part of him was the worst, the hardest to take control of, and he certainly didn’t fully understand it. And it’s not like he had anyone to talk to about it that could actually understand where that anger came from. Perhaps someone who had known what the death of someone close felt like, the feeling of being rejected and not believed in. But then, he knew someone like that. He knew Sirius. He was probably the only one who acknowledged and actually understood his struggle from an almost equal perspective.

Hoping he could still find him awake, Harry quietly went up the stairs to the floor where his godfather’s bedroom was. The door was not closed, just on the latch, and Harry slowly let himself in. Sirius was asleep and his body was illuminated by the lit fireplace, which kept the room warm and surprisingly comfortable. Harry came closer, watching the older man breathe softly. His face was almost peaceful, barely a trace of the haunted expression he often carried.

Now that Harry was here, he didn’t really want to wake him up. He gave himself permission to watch him closely, to notice every detail of every part of him that was visible. He had no shirt on and the sheet was pulled up to his navel, which left Harry wondering if he was wearing anything beneath at all. He registered that he didn’t look so thin anymore, probably due to decent meals, and had gained a healthier colour. His chest tattoos had always sparked Harry’s interest but he never really got the chance to look at them properly, and now that he did, he found he liked them quite a lot. Harry let his hand slide a few inches above his godfather’s skin, enjoying the warmth coming from his chest. Harry’s neck seemed to twitch, but he ignored it.

Sirius stirred slightly in his sleep, letting his hips buck up gently off the bed and come back down. Harry immediately noticed a bulge covered by the white sheet and felt heat invading his own chest. His hand slid above Sirius’ crotch, his fingers very gently tickling the thin sheet. He withdrew his hand just in time before Sirius’ hand covered his erection, squeezing it. Harry looked up to his godfather’s face and saw that he still seemed to be sleeping, and let out the breath he was holding.

Sirius rubbed his erection harder through the bedsheet and Harry heard him whimper, as though he was slowly starting to wake up. Panicking, Harry ducked to the floor and hid between the wooden desk and chair, hoping his godfather couldn’t see him there. Craning his neck so he could get a better look, he registered that the man was now awake and had spread his legs beneath the sheet. His hand was leisurely stroking his cock, still covered as well. His free hand brushed along his chest, along the same place Harry had been almost touching seconds before. It slid along his neck, to his jaw, and stopped at his lips, where he bit down with a whimper. He stroked his cock faster, letting the sheet fall away to reveal its long and hard form. Harry had to squeeze himself through his pants as well as he watched his godfather’s cock drip wet. Sirius’ breathing was fast, and Harry was breathing almost in synch with him, rubbing himself through the thin fabric. Low moans were coming from Sirius’ mouth, muffled by his biting. With a low growl, he spilled his come all over his stomach, some of it landing on the hand that was stuck between his teeth.

Still rubbing himself, Harry had to put his own hand to his mouth to muffle any sound. He could only count on the crackling of the fire to disguise the sound of his heavy breathing. From his spot under the desk, Harry watched Sirius lick a stray drop of come from his hand and came instantly.

Some moments passed and Sirius didn’t seem to have noticed his presence, staring at the ceiling with a blissful expression. He got up from his bed and went inside what Harry supposed was the bathroom.

Bumping his head hard against the desk, Harry took the opportunity to get away from the room as quickly as possible, silently going down the stairs to his bathroom to clean himself.

When Sirius returned to his bedroom, he stopped in his tracks to stare at the floor in the back of the room. A couple of books were scattered just beside the desk where Sirius had put them that afternoon.

Frowning, Sirius got in his bed and turned to his side so he could fall asleep again.

***

That morning, Harry woke up with a guilty feeling. What he’d done had been wrong, so wrong. Spying on his godfather, almost touching him without his permission and invading his privacy like that… He should regret it. But it felt so good, so exhilarating, how could he regret something that made him feel so aroused? No type of mirror, not even the Mirror of Erised, could make him feel what he felt the night before.

If Hermione were here, she’d tell him that he needed to settle this with Sirius, to tell him the truth and apologise, to deal with the consequences. She was always his moral compass, bless her. But then Ron would join them and tell him that she’s bonkers for even suggesting that, that he simply couldn’t tell him the truth, not the whole truth at least – and then he’d stop to casually ask ‘so you really are gay, eh mate?’ – and then they’d get carried away. Then Harry would do as he always does, which is settling for an in-between. What was the in-between in this case? ‘Sirius, I accidentally went in your room and watched you sleep, but that’s all it was’? That was creepy enough as it was.

After a long battle in his mind, he finally settled for just talking to Sirius about what he was meant to talk about last night, and if Sirius happened to be asleep or to be jerking off, Harry would simply go away and not stay to watch the show. That seemed like a decent enough in-between.

He searched for Sirius around the house, and found him in the drawing room, examining a dark looking artefact on the cabinet. Harry let himself in the room and Sirius turned to him, frowning upon Harry’s concerned expression.

“Can I talk to you?” he asked Sirius, biting his lip to keep the memories from last night to flood in.

“Sure,” the older man answered.

“I needed to talk to someone. I don’t really know why but I…” Harry paused, not knowing how to go about it.

“Go on.”

Sirius nodded with a smile and made a gesture towards the couch, and they both sat on it. It made Harry feel more confident, almost forgetting all about his nervousness. He could feel Sirius’ scent filling his nostrils, the warmth irradiating from his skin, just like the night before. It made him feel a bit lightheaded, but it also seemed to calm him.

“I just – I feel so angry. All the time. It’s not just because of the nightmares, it’s… I don’t know.”

“Harry…” Sirius started, placing a slender hand on Harry’s knee. “A lot of horrible things happened to you. Things that no one should have to experience. It’s only normal that you should feel a bit angry.”

“I don’t know if that’s all there is to it. I snap a lot. I can’t just accept things like I did before. I feel different, I’m not sure how to explain it, but I do.”

“What does it feel like when you get angry?”

"It’s… weird. Something crawls up my body. Like a strange sensation that kind of takes over. Like I’m going to explode and scream at anyone who comes my way. But when I do scream, it doesn’t get better. It just feels like acid pouring down my throat."

"I understand it must be hard for you to manage those emotions, but I’m here for you no matter what." Sirius squeezed his knee and gave Harry a reassuring smile.

"Do you ever get angry like this?"

Sirius took a deep breath and looked deep in Harry's eyes.

"I used to. When Voldemort killed your parents, when I was arrested and Pettigrew got away. All those years in Azkaban, I was a mess. I managed to get out because of my anger. I wanted to destroy Pettigrew before he could harm you, and to avenge James. It kept me sane, but just barely. It almost consumed me, Harry. And you know who saved me before that anger took over?”

Harry shook his head and Sirius shot him a brilliant smile.

“It was you. You taught me how to be merciful. How to let go. I’m sure you can find it in yourself to let go of that anger."

"I’m not sure if I know where to find it anymore."

"Well then, what do you do when you get angry like that? How does it stop?"

"It never really does but... I haven't figured out a way to make it subside. I was hoping you could help me out with that."

Sirius looked thoughtful.

"Maybe do something to distract yourself from it? Like an outlet. Some people smoke - I wouldn’t advise it. I drink – but I can’t advise it to you either. Some people fu –“ Sirius let out a low chuckle. "Come to think of it, I can’t think of anything I could legally advise you to do."

Harry looked down and sighed.

"But you can come talk to me when you feel angry. I promise I'll do everything I can to make you feel better."

"That sounds nicer than just sulking alone, I suppose."

Sensing Harry’s disappointment, Sirius reached out for a long hug, the kind that made Harry’s legs feel like jelly.

***

A few days into the winter break, Harry decided to confront Mrs. Weasley, who was strongly against him being a part of the Order. Of being aware of the full picture, in his opinion. He was a part of it, whether he wanted to or not, and keeping him in the dark about Voldemort’s moves just wasn’t reasonable.

“Harry dear, we’ve had this discussion before. You’re far too young. You need to focus on your studies,” Molly said, giving him her usual condescending smile.

“But I should be able to –“

“Please don’t argue with this decision. You are a child, Harry. You’ve been involved in too much already.”

“Mrs. Weasley, it’s not fair –“

“What’s not fair is you spending your childhood worrying about these things!”

Mrs. Weasley’s tone was rapidly becoming more screeching. Harry’s neck twitched and he felt an odd feeling crawl up again, which by now was becoming quite familiar.

“I’m not a child, I don’t get to be one. I’m sick of always being lied to,” he said, clenching his jaw and giving her a cold stare.

“Harry, everything we do, we do it for your own protection. Don’t try to argue with me on this, my word is final,” Molly said, turning her back to Harry to finish slicing carrots for lunch.

Harry was trembling, his forehead felt sweaty, and that neck twitch was back. Gathering himself, he walked out of the kitchen so he wouldn’t say something he’d regret. He strode up the stairs to his room, shutting the door with a kick. Thankfully Ron wasn’t there, Harry was sure he’d just take it out on him if he was, like he’d done a few times before.

He felt his anger boil inside of him. He felt the unfairness of it all, being exposed to danger but not being able to fight it with open eyes. Being treated like a child all the time, being disregarded. His hands were shaking and he felt like screaming, and was about to, when he heard a knock on the door, and Sirius let himself in without waiting for what could have been quite a nasty reply.

“Harry? I heard you talking to Molly downstairs.”

Harry said nothing, just stared at his godfather, still trembling.

“Are you alright?” Sirius approached him slowly, in that same leisure walk he always had. Harry’s neck twitched again and the soft murmur was back.

“You know I don’t agree with her, but she’s not the only one who thinks you shouldn’t be in the Order,” he offered, trying to reason with Harry.

Molly’s unfair words resonated in Harry’s head and he closed his eyes. The murmur became clearer.

_You’re not a child._

Harry opened his eyes to stare at Sirius, who was looking at him with a frown. They stared at each other for long moments, Harry’s eyes piercing his godfather’s as he started to breathe heavily. Sirius blinked at him questioningly and seemed about to open his mouth to say something but didn’t get any words out.

The voice in Harry’s head was back.

_Take him, Harry. Take what’s yours. Do it._

His neck twitched once more and his eyes rolled to the back of his head for a second.

“Harry –“

Harry launched himself at Sirius before he could finish the sentence, furiously kissing him while undoing the buttons on his shirt. Sirius quickly grabbed his arms to stop him and detached himself from his reddening lips.

“Harry, what – what are you doing? What were you thinking?”

Panting, Harry just stared at his godfather, rage burning away inside him.

“No one gives a shit about what I’m thinking!”

“I do give a shit, as a matter of fact!”

“I don’t need you to give a shit right now. I just – need –“ Harry exhaled angrily.

Sirius seemed to understand the emergence and desperation in his emerald eyes. He’d promised him. He’d promised to make him feel better when he was angry. He’d do anything for him. His hold on the boy’s arms faltered and Harry seized the opportunity and grabbed his godfather’s face, kissing him fiercely, and this time Sirius let him. Their tongues collided and tangled almost frantically. The murmur in Harry’s head completely died down, leaving him in a haze of arousal.

He started unbuttoning Sirius’ shirt again, almost ripping it off his body and discarding it on the floor. Sirius bit down on Harry’s neck, making him moan in both pleasure and pain. The older man quickly put his hand on Harry’s mouth to muffle his moans, and pushed him to his bed, landing on top of him.

Harry quickly began undoing the zipper on Sirius’ pants.

“Harry, are you sure –“

Harry kissed his godfather again, cutting him off mid-sentence, and slid his trousers down his hips. Sirius took the younger man’s sweater off and started kissing his chest, licking one nipple while he lightly pinched the other. Harry made his best effort not to whimper too loud. He’d never been touched like this, and it felt so good, so raw.

He reached for Sirius’ erection, cupping him, making the older man wince. Harry took that as a sign that he needed more, and quickly slid his boxers down his hips, grabbing his godfather’s cock with greedy hands. It felt hot and heavy on his palm as he stroked it. Sirius buried his head on Harry’s neck to muffle his own moans, afraid someone would hear them. He drew his body away from Harry’s for a moment, eliciting a disappointed whine from him, and undid Harry’s zipper, sliding his jeans and boxers all at once down the boy’s narrow hips. They kissed again, like an almost vicious dance. Their cocks slid together and the friction was agonising. It was not enough. Harry gripped his own prick, squeezing it.

“Please, touch me,” Harry pleaded, feeling hot all over, and relishing in the warmth that Sirius’ body was transmitting to him.

Sirius replaced Harry’s hand with his bigger one and started pumping, using his other hand to muffle Harry’s cries of pleasure. He joined their cocks together with his hand and continued his rhythm, occasionally licking and biting Harry’s neck.

“Faster,” Harry asked, still muffled by his godfather’s slender hand, feeling his orgasm close.

Sirius picked up the pace, muffling his moans in Harry’s skin, and looked at Harry’s face just in time to see him close his eyes and throw his head back as he came. It was enough to drive Sirius to his own orgasm, gritting his teeth so he wouldn’t make any noise, never taking his eyes off Harry’s face.

Panting, Sirius rolled off Harry to his side and they stayed still for some time.

“I’d have locked the door if I knew,” Sirius commented after a while.

Realisation hit Harry then, as the haze from his mind dissipated.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” Harry said, panic evident in his voice, eyes wide. He sat up straight and Sirius looked at his come covered stomach.

“You mean besides me?” Sirius said with a light laugh, making Harry laugh as well.

They went silent for a bit, just looking at each other and smiling.

“I really am sorry,” Harry said in a serious tone. “I shouldn’t have done that, I didn’t want to force you to…”

Sirius lifted his hand to stroke his cheek and gave him a small smile.

“I’m sorry too, Harry. I’m a grown man, if anything, I should have been the one to stop it.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Sirius sighed and looked away.

“That’s a tough question, I’m not sure how to answer. I really should have. You didn’t feel like yourself at first.”

“I feel like that sometimes. Like I’m not myself. Like I’m just an angry mess.” As he said that, Harry realised he felt calmer now. The anger was gone, his thoughts were clearer. Harry bit his lip and looked down. “I – I don’t regret it, though.”

“I don’t regret it, either. I promised I’d do anything to make you feel better and I meant it,” Sirius said, and reached for Harry’s lips to give him a kiss, a gentler one this time. “We probably shouldn’t do it again…”

Harry averted his gaze, he knew he was right. He didn’t want him to be right this time.

“Yeah, we probably shouldn’t,” he agreed, barely a whisper.

“If anyone finds out they’ll…”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded.

***

A few days passed by and Harry felt calmer, like his bad temper was finally giving him a break. Of course that feeling was only replaced by the understanding that what his godfather and he had done was never meant to happen again. Ever since he realised he was in love with Sirius – it seemed more inevitable each time he thought about it – he had known that nothing would ever come off it. But now that he had actually had Sirius to himself, Harry just couldn’t see how he was going to give it up.

He still had other pressing issues that made something unpleasant sting inside him, especially whenever he saw Mrs. Weasley and she gave him a maternal but condescending smile, and every time he saw Snape, reminding him of the damned Occlumency lessons. They were close to torture, making his fury towards the professor harder to suppress. Dumbledore had thought it better to continue the lessons throughout the winter break, as it was a long process and Harry didn’t seem to be any closer to mastering it. It only served to deepen Snape’s sneer, which he threw in Harry’s direction every chance he got.

“Concentrate!” Snape bellowed.

“I’m trying!”

The man shook his head disdainfully, and attempted once again to enter Harry’s mind, partly succeeding.

“You’re a disgrace… We’ve had enough lessons, I shouldn’t be able to know what you ate last night for dinner!”

Harry felt the familiar boil in his chest, and closed his eyes, trying to keep it at bay.

“Let’s try it again,” Snape said.

“No, this is useless!” Harry retorted, tired of having his mind invaded by a man he hated and going nowhere with it. The disturbing murmur was back, unclear.

“You’re useless, pathetic even…” Snape drawled, and shot him a scornful look. “Just like your – “

Harry got up from his seat abruptly and walked away from the study before he could hear the ending of the sentence. He’d heard it enough times by now.

His hands were shaking and his mind was hazy again, clouding his better judgement. His legs directed him towards the only place he felt safe. He didn’t knock.

Sirius sat at his desk, reading a book, and turned his wheeled chair around face Harry.

Wasting no time, Harry closed the distance between them and sat on his godfather’s lap, making the older man gasp in surprise.

“We said we wouldn’t –“

Harry shut him up with his lips, which by now seemed like an efficient method. They kissed passionately and Harry’s fingers tangled in Sirius’ long hair, pulling slightly. He felt strong hands around his waist and then on his arse, squeezing through his jeans. He moaned at the sensation and started grinding on Sirius’ groin, feeling him harden and press deliciously against him. His hands left the long hair and started unbuttoning his shirt. Sirius bit his neck and Harry clawed at his chest in response, leaving a trail of red marks.

“Bite harder,” Harry asked. He needed to feel everything, he couldn’t settle for gentleness right now. The hurt only fuelled his lust.

Sirius complied, biting his neck and moving to nibble at his godson’s lips. Harry quickly took off his own shirt, and almost smashed his chest against the older man’s, needing to feel skin on skin.

Sirius grabbed Harry by his hips and sat him on the desk, hastily pushing aside his book.

Both unbuttoned their trousers, leaving their cocks exposed.

“I’m going to suck you dry,” Sirius said in a low voice that went straight to Harry’s groin.

Lowering himself, he took Harry’s length in his mouth, swallowing almost down to the root. Harry closed his eyes and let his head rest on the wall, arching his hips off the wooden desk as his godfather sucked him hungrily. He felt his hand slide to his bollocks and squeeze, and then slide lower to his arsehole, caressing slightly. Harry jerked at the touch.

“I’m sorry, I won’t touch you there if you don’t want to,” Sirius said, lifting himself to stay on eye level with Harry.

“I want to. Do it again,” Harry asked breathily, eyes still closed.

Sirius slid his fingertips softly over Harry’s entrance, making him whimper at the touch.

“Can you please fuck me?” Harry asked, opening his eyes to look into Sirius’.

Sirius moaned at the plead but shook his head, closing his eyes.

“Don’t ask that of me, Harry,” he said, faltering in his words.

“Don’t you want to? You’re so hard,” Harry grabbed his godfather’s cock and gave it a teasing stroke. Sirius winced at the touch.

“I might hurt you and I don’t want that.”

“You won’t. I can take it. Please? Make it feel good.”

Sirius gave another strangled moan. “Have you done this before?”

“Only with my fingers.”

To make his point, Harry grabbed Sirius’ hand and guided it to his mouth, sucking one finger in and coating it with saliva. He moved the hand to his arse and pushed one finger in, sliding it slowly inside himself. Sirius muttered under his breath and shook his head, but started to move his finger anyway. He couldn’t deny that he wanted this, that he’d been thinking about it since the first time they kissed. He started sliding his finger in and out faster, and Harry put his arm around the older man’s neck to steady himself. It felt so good. Sirius slid his finger out and quickly went to his bedside table to grab a small bottle of lube. He coated his fingers with the liquid and pushed two inside Harry, making him squirm and moan. He picked up the pace and soon he pushed a third finger inside, making Harry wince a bit. They kissed once more, as intensely as before, and Sirius felt Harry relax and loosen up.

“In me, now,” Harry panted, grabbing Sirius’ cock and guiding it towards his arse, not bothering to put more lube as it seemed wet enough. He pushed Sirius’ cock inside, wincing at the slight burn. He was definitely bigger than three fingers. Sirius grabbed Harry’s arse to spread him further, allowing him to slide in easily. One of Harry’s hands was still clutching his godfather’s neck, his fingernails leaving angry red scratches.

Sirius started pumping slowly, watching Harry’s face so he would know if he was hurting him. He felt him relax around his own cock and soon he was moaning and gasping.

“Fuck me faster,” Harry said, this time not really a plead. Sirius started thrusting faster, grabbing the young man’s hips to angle him in a way that allowed his cock to go deeper. Harry’s head was banging the wall with the force of the thrusts, and Sirius lifted one hand to grab Harry’s hair, managing to stop the noise of the banging. He pulled at it and leaned into his ear.

“You’re a stubborn little bastard, aren’t you?” he panted.

“Don’t act like you – _ugh_ – didn’t know that already.”

Just then Sirius hit a spot inside Harry that made him scream and buck up.

“Y-yesss,” he dragged, feeling that spot being hit again and again.

Harry gripped his cock and started jerking it in time with his godfather’s thrusts. Sirius put his other hand once again over his godson’s mouth to muffle his cries.

“M’gonna come,” Harry said, his voice muffled.

“Me too.”

They locked eyes and within a few thrusts Harry was coming all over his hand and his stomach, and Sirius followed shortly after, filling Harry with his hot come.

They rocked together, feeling the last tingles of their orgasms slowly melt away.

“We’ll have to start locking the doors if we’re going to keep this up,” Sirius chuckled, still breathing fast.

“Aren’t you going to tell me off for doing it again?” Harry asked, smiling at the man.

“I should, shouldn’t I?”

“You definitely should.”

“I should definitely give you a spanking next time you do this.”

Harry shuddered at that thought.

“Definitely,” he agreed.

Giving his godson a quick kiss, Sirius pulled out of him and turned to grab his wand by the bedside table. When he returned to Harry, he was still leaning against the wall all flushed, wild hair sticking out, with his legs still spread on the desk, leaking their mess all over it. He had closed his eyes and had a peaceful smile on his swollen lips.

“So tell me, Harry…”

Harry opened his eyes curiously.

“You get angry often at Hogwarts?”

**To be continued**

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos if you liked it! It really does make my day <3


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